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Sign off

The process of approving the work that you, your team and your collective 3,000 year careers have pored over for the last two weeks. Can exist in multiple levels across multiple brands. In agency, the process must be backed up by multiple e-mails that suggest management but in fact are an effective method of diverting blame if anything, once sign-off has occurred, goes wrong. Also to reference when a deaf person flips you the finger after you’ve thrown a water balloon at them.

Sit-down

“let’s sit-down” A1:B28 mean a multitude of things: 1) let’s catch up on actions for this week, we have A LOT to do (Lord help us all), 2) shit has hit the fan and we need to move fast to find a solution, 3) I have no idea what’s going on and need you to fill me, 4) we need a serious chat, 5) you’re being fired, the list goes on… The saying can often instill fear in those being asked to “sit-down”, but more often than not you end up discussing how drunk you got the weekend before.  

Social

A series of technology ‘platforms’ have developed from the days of MySpace and Bebo to now consist of (but not limited to) the most popular; Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and Snapchat. This ever popular method of communication allows people and their pets to demonstrate how they live their lives through highly thought out imagery, short film and emojis, while not actually having to be social. Currently the social media epidemic causes pouting lips, filtered selfies and a taboo addiction. Those who are lucky enough to build high followings, now receive requests from PR’s and brands to send them ‘stuff’ to try,… read more »

Story-telling

Storytelling: the rock bed of PR. Telling fictional and factual tales on behalf of a client, either orally or in written form. These can be stories about the brand or company (the reason they exist or were formed) or can be from the brand (stories they want to communicate and share).

Survey

Consumer research conducted by brands that will help a story get picked up by the trashy papers, such as Daily Star, Daily Mirror and The Sun. PR’s will brief a survey company on what they want the story to say and will manipulate consumers into answering the questions in a way that gives them the best story possible e.g. Scientists prove that are the most craved snack for pregnant women Dairylea Dunkers. In reality, pregnant women who answered the survey were given three options to choose from: Dairylea Dunkers, a healthy protein bar and rose flavored water

Tangible

Not a PowerPoint deck, but you’re still unlikely to be able to actually touch it

Target audience

A commonly used phrase that suggests a brand has strategic focus, when actually they want to speak to everyone who has a pulse and a purse. More often than not, the audience will be 18-24 year olds to offer agencies the impossible task of making an (e.g.) incontinence brand feel young and exciting because the brand manager is 14. Most likely white people.

Transparency

Transparency: Being 100% open and honest, removing all barriers. The ultimate illusion or apparition, often talked about but rarely followed. Agencies talk about transparency when trying to pitch for new business, sometimes in reference to finance (e.g. we are always totally transparent with our budgets, we don’t mark-up) but this quickly forgotten.

Unique

Unique primarily refers to: Being different or unlike anything else; however, often used when trying to make a shit, strange or over used idea/place/result sound better to a client/awarding body.

Worlds first

The claim you make when you google your idea and don’t find the exact same thing in the first page of google results. If you don’t have time to google just add “What is believed to be” as a pre-fix and you’ll be fine

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